tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125067052007-04-15T02:21:34.780ZBattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.comBlogger56125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1159889502746344652006-10-03T15:27:00.000Z2006-10-03T15:31:42.763Z

Dear IDSA Members: Raytheon filed its patent for the microwave oven in 1945. These devices, which today are far more sophisticated than their predecessors, have been widely available since the 1970's. Why then, do they continue to beep after the door is opened? It seems one of your geniuses should have solved this problem, like, a billion years ago. Get on it, quick. BattleCobra90000

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1157471653764081602006-09-05T15:41:00.001Z2006-09-05T15:59:05.020Z

I want to gush over our new public radio station. WUNC rulz! It totally kicks our old station (KUOW) in the b-u-t-t! Take, for example: TimeKUOWWUNC 9amSteve ScherBBC Newshour 10pmSome hippy banging on his damn hippy drumBBC World Service Plus, WUNC's local host for morning edition is Eric "They denied us the" Hodge. This summer's pledge drive? Not having one (give online if you like, friend).

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1157470905277693292006-09-05T15:41:00.000Z2006-09-05T15:41:45.296Z

I ate a deep-fried, half chicken with chopsticks the other night.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1156444039853112422006-08-24T18:26:00.000Z2006-08-24T18:27:19.863Z

You dirty, good-for-nothing dwarf planet. I hate you; you are dead to me.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1152452554007519822006-07-09T13:41:00.000Z2006-07-09T13:42:34.020Z

Male ringtails are equipped with scent glands on their wrists which are used in "stink fighting" with a rival male. Here, two males stand facing each other a few feet apart and, repeatedly drawing their tails through these glands, they proceed to wave the tails over their heads, all the while staring in a hostile fashion at their rival. Eventually, one of the males will break down and run

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1150165461907853332006-06-13T02:21:00.000Z2006-06-13T02:24:21.920Z

So I'm breaking the 50-post mark with this one. I started writing something about myself, but then decided against it. Happy 51!

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1146007477624102572006-04-25T23:23:00.000Z2006-04-25T23:24:37.643Z

Chester Cheetah says that it's not easy being cheesey. I'm not so sure it's such a good idea that he share those kinds of thoughts with us.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1141803619414740882006-03-08T07:39:00.000Z2006-03-08T07:40:19.426Z

I am not an idiot, I am a battle cobra. It's who I am; it's what I do.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1141703982687453832006-03-07T03:58:00.000Z2006-03-07T04:00:00.000Z

I broke my lease yesterday by putting a hole in drywall that did not terminate in a stud. I ask---is there no provision for those of us whose holes always originate with STUDS? Get it? Because I'm a stud? I thought so.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1141703887723332022006-03-07T03:46:00.000Z2006-03-07T03:58:07.736Z

My wife, our friend H, and I watched the Oscars last night. "The Oscars" is a registered trademark, but since this isn't commercial speech, I think I can get away without digging out the TM symbol. After the Oscars, which were about 3.5 hours looooong, ABC presented this strange post-Oscars program featuring reporters trying to get (more on this in a second) interviews with celebrities as they

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1141703163790945392006-03-07T03:43:00.000Z2006-03-07T03:46:03.810Z

Yes, I've gone dry. Dry like bone. My posts-per-month rate has gone down. I have to confess: I forgot I had a blog. So here's what I'll do: post more. This should not only increase the number of posts, but also increase the posts-per-month---immediately! This is the magic of statistics.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1138944532553849282006-02-03T05:28:00.000Z2006-02-03T05:28:52.570Z

You heard me.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1138218931849679262006-01-25T19:55:00.000Z2006-01-25T19:55:31.883Z

Boy, first it was sunny, now it's raining. Again!

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1134802880331770732005-12-17T07:00:00.000Z2005-12-17T07:01:20.333Z

...we'll make this a December---to remember.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1134802833219480822005-12-17T06:57:00.000Z2005-12-17T07:00:33.230Z

Now that we're in the second half of the month, that is.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1133110900700192152005-11-27T16:54:00.000Z2005-11-27T17:01:40.716Z

The wise editors at the Wikipedia have deleted my article on 'Tee Hee'. You can read their rationale here.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1131693582669841442005-11-11T07:17:00.000Z2005-11-11T07:19:42.683Z

According to UPI, "Drew Barrymore is producing a film based on the book 'He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys.'" And that's the difference between me and Drew Barrymore.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1131166657768335442005-11-05T04:54:00.000Z2005-11-27T17:03:06.290Z

Encouraged by the existence of a Shamone! page in Wikipedia, I created a stub for Tee Hee! Tee Hee!, while less popular than Shamone!, is probably my favorite MJ-ism. Please feel free to expand upon what I have already written! Update: I updated the Shamone page with a "See Also" link pointing to Tee Hee. Knowledge is power. Update: They deleted it! Shamone them!

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1130948194424656632005-11-02T16:06:00.000Z2005-11-02T16:16:34.436Z

Here's how awful--or great, depending on how you see it--the world has got. I thought, I could start a Wikipedia artical (i.e. "stub") for "shamone," M.J.'s trademark--utterance. But guess what? Not only is there an entry, there's a full-blown article! Shamone me, for thinking I was so original.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1129438327369548412005-10-16T04:42:00.000Z2005-10-16T04:52:07.383Z

I saw a woman in my parking garage who had a dreamcatcher hanging from her rear-view mirror. I found this troubling. Does she expect to fall asleep behind the wheel? If so, filtering out bad dreams might worsen the situation if she's driving at the time. Of course, there's an alternative explanation —— she's driving around catching other people's dreams to put to use for her own nefarious

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1126629327748950302005-09-13T16:30:00.000Z2005-09-13T16:35:27.746Z

We have good names for body parts. Elbow. Sternum. Hip. These are good, solid words. Why, then, friends, do we not have words for the backs of our knees and elbows? Are they "crooks" or "bends?" Those words describe other things too. We need new words. Here's a starter list, we'll take a vote later. Knee-backsides: Gordem Notchit Flav Forg Elbow-backsides: Crystic Slaigh Joon

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1126629029567364412005-09-13T16:25:00.000Z2005-09-13T16:30:29.580Z

I managed to leave the house this morning dressed in dark blue jeans, a striped French dress shirt, Converse low-tops and no belt. Tellingly, my wife and I were discussing Big Bird (or as I was calling him "Big Burden"), Sesame Street's lovable-but-retarded avian castmember. This is God's way of getting back at me. I didn't notice I was without a belt until just a few minutes ago. I set out to

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1123181027645929032005-08-04T18:42:00.000Z2005-08-04T18:43:47.650Z

For one, you have to remember to blog. This is probably the hardest part.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1121400306535426352005-07-15T04:01:00.000Z2005-07-20T04:41:34.610Z

They were talking baseball on the radio this morning. A caller was asking a question about the M's and pointed out that in 1995 there were a lot of young players, replacement players, and "everybody stepped up to the plate at the same time." Friends, if you're going to use baseball metaphors, be sure you're not talking about baseball at the time.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1121192638505821222005-07-12T18:20:00.000Z2005-07-12T18:23:58.506Z

If cannisters of Dixie Crystals had beef on the inside (instead of sugar, yeah), they'd probably be called Texas Chunks, or maybe Kansas Strips. Either way, pouring might be problem. But it's challenges like this that keep American inventors at the top of their game. I'm satisfied our boys would prevail.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com