tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-125067052011-11-13T03:56:26.487ZDivining a line between interesting and not-interesting.BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.comBlogger561100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1159889502746344652006-10-03T15:27:00.000Z2006-10-03T15:31:42.763Z

Dear IDSA Members:Raytheon filed its patent for the microwave oven in 1945. These devices, which today are far more sophisticated than their predecessors, have been widely available since the 1970's. Why then, do they continue to beep after the door is opened? It seems one of your geniuses should have solved this problem, like, a billion years ago.Get on it, quick.BattleCobra90000

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com35tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1157471653764081602006-09-05T15:41:00.001Z2006-09-05T15:59:05.020Z

I want to gush over our new public radio station. WUNC rulz! It totally kicks our old station (KUOW) in the b-u-t-t! Take, for example:TimeKUOWWUNC9amSteve ScherBBC Newshour10pmSome hippy banging on his damn hippy drumBBC World ServicePlus, WUNC's local host for morning edition is Eric "They denied us the" Hodge. This summer's pledge drive? Not having one (give online if you like, friend).

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1157470905277693292006-09-05T15:41:00.000Z2006-09-05T15:41:45.296Z

I ate a deep-fried, half chicken with chopsticks the other night.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1156444039853112422006-08-24T18:26:00.000Z2006-08-24T18:27:19.863Z

You dirty, good-for-nothing dwarf planet. I hate you; you are dead to me.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1152452554007519822006-07-09T13:41:00.000Z2006-07-09T13:42:34.020Z

Male ringtails are equipped with scent glands on their wrists which are used in "stink fighting" with a rival male. Here, two males stand facing each other a few feet apart and, repeatedly drawing their tails through these glands, they proceed to wave the tails over their heads, all the while staring in a hostile fashion at their rival. Eventually, one of the males will break down and run

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1150165461907853332006-06-13T02:21:00.000Z2006-06-13T02:24:21.920Z

So I'm breaking the 50-post mark with this one.I started writing something about myself, but then decided against it. Happy 51!

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1146007477624102572006-04-25T23:23:00.000Z2006-04-25T23:24:37.643Z

Chester Cheetah says that it's not easy being cheesey. I'm not so sure it's such a good idea that he share those kinds of thoughts with us.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1141803619414740882006-03-08T07:39:00.000Z2006-03-08T07:40:19.426Z

I am not an idiot, I am a battle cobra. It's who I am; it's what I do.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1141703982687453832006-03-07T03:58:00.000Z2006-03-07T04:00:00.000Z

I broke my lease yesterday by putting a hole in drywall that did not terminate in a stud.I ask---is there no provision for those of us whose holes always originate with STUDS? Get it? Because I'm a stud? I thought so.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1141703887723332022006-03-07T03:46:00.000Z2006-03-07T03:58:07.736Z

My wife, our friend H, and I watched the Oscars last night. "The Oscars" is a registered trademark, but since this isn't commercial speech, I think I can get away without digging out the TM symbol.After the Oscars, which were about 3.5 hours looooong, ABC presented this strange post-Oscars program featuring reporters trying to get (more on this in a second) interviews with celebrities as they

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1141703163790945392006-03-07T03:43:00.000Z2006-03-07T03:46:03.810Z

Yes, I've gone dry. Dry like bone. My posts-per-month rate has gone down. I have to confess: I forgot I had a blog.So here's what I'll do: post more. This should not only increase the number of posts, but also increase the posts-per-month---immediately! This is the magic of statistics.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1138944532553849282006-02-03T05:28:00.000Z2006-02-03T05:28:52.570Z

You heard me.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1138218931849679262006-01-25T19:55:00.000Z2006-01-25T19:55:31.883Z

Boy, first it was sunny, now it's raining. Again!

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1134802880331770732005-12-17T07:00:00.000Z2005-12-17T07:01:20.333Z

...we'll make this a December---to remember.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1134802833219480822005-12-17T06:57:00.000Z2005-12-17T07:00:33.230Z

Now that we're in the second half of the month, that is.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1133110900700192152005-11-27T16:54:00.000Z2005-11-27T17:01:40.716Z

The wise editors at the Wikipedia have deleted my article on 'Tee Hee'. You can read their rationale here.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1131693582669841442005-11-11T07:17:00.000Z2005-11-11T07:19:42.683Z

According to UPI, "Drew Barrymore is producing a film based on the book 'He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys.'"And that's the difference between me and Drew Barrymore.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1131166657768335442005-11-05T04:54:00.000Z2005-11-27T17:03:06.290Z

Encouraged by the existence of a Shamone! page in Wikipedia, I created a stub for Tee Hee! Tee Hee!, while less popular than Shamone!, is probably my favorite MJ-ism. Please feel free to expand upon what I have already written!Update: I updated the Shamone page with a "See Also" link pointing to Tee Hee. Knowledge is power.Update: They deleted it! Shamone them!

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1130948194424656632005-11-02T16:06:00.000Z2005-11-02T16:16:34.436Z

Here's how awful--or great, depending on how you see it--the world has got. I thought, I could start a Wikipedia artical (i.e. "stub") for "shamone," M.J.'s trademark--utterance. But guess what? Not only is there an entry, there's a full-blown article!Shamone me, for thinking I was so original.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1129438327369548412005-10-16T04:42:00.000Z2005-10-16T04:52:07.383Z

I saw a woman in my parking garage who had a dreamcatcher hanging from her rear-view mirror. I found this troubling. Does she expect to fall asleep behind the wheel? If so, filtering out bad dreams might worsen the situation if she's driving at the time. Of course, there's an alternative explanation —— she's driving around catching other people's dreams to put to use for her own nefarious

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1126629327748950302005-09-13T16:30:00.000Z2005-09-13T16:35:27.746Z

We have good names for body parts. Elbow. Sternum. Hip. These are good, solid words. Why, then, friends, do we not have words for the backs of our knees and elbows? Are they "crooks" or "bends?" Those words describe other things too. We need new words. Here's a starter list, we'll take a vote later.Knee-backsides: Gordem Notchit Flav Forg Elbow-backsides: Crystic Slaigh Joon

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1126629029567364412005-09-13T16:25:00.000Z2005-09-13T16:30:29.580Z

I managed to leave the house this morning dressed in dark blue jeans, a striped French dress shirt, Converse low-tops and no belt. Tellingly, my wife and I were discussing Big Bird (or as I was calling him "Big Burden"), Sesame Street's lovable-but-retarded avian castmember. This is God's way of getting back at me.I didn't notice I was without a belt until just a few minutes ago. I set out to

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1123181027645929032005-08-04T18:42:00.000Z2005-08-04T18:43:47.650Z

For one, you have to remember to blog. This is probably the hardest part.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1121400306535426352005-07-15T04:01:00.000Z2005-07-20T04:41:34.610Z

They were talking baseball on the radio this morning. A caller was asking a question about the M's and pointed out that in 1995 there were a lot of young players, replacement players, and "everybody stepped up to the plate at the same time."Friends, if you're going to use baseball metaphors, be sure you're not talking about baseball at the time.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1121192638505821222005-07-12T18:20:00.000Z2005-07-12T18:23:58.506Z

If cannisters of Dixie Crystals had beef on the inside (instead of sugar, yeah), they'd probably be called Texas Chunks, or maybe Kansas Strips. Either way, pouring might be problem.But it's challenges like this that keep American inventors at the top of their game. I'm satisfied our boys would prevail.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1120711180953546562005-07-07T04:38:00.000Z2005-07-07T04:39:40.956Z

“Actually, our country has its own Deep Impact plans, it’s just we’ve never revealed them to the public before,” the Beijing News quoted Chinese astronomer Zhao Haibin as saying.“Right now, our focus is on a moon probe.”

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1120421187355350162005-07-03T20:04:00.000Z2005-07-03T20:06:27.366Z

How you all doing, yeah?

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1119290993463769302005-06-20T18:08:00.000Z2005-06-20T18:09:53.470Z

Look for the canister that says "Dixie Crystals" on the outside. That's the one with sugar on the inside.Perhaps it should be "Dixie" Crystals. Or maybe Dixie "Crystals." Then again, "Dixie" "Crystals" has a nice ring to it.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1119244771196466772005-06-20T05:17:00.000Z2005-06-20T05:19:31.200Z

Somebody needs to set the record straight about hobos. Are they gruff-but-loveable train hoppers, or sick, predatory rail-dwellers?I once took a train across the country. I sat in coach and ate refried beans from a can. I didn't have a fork, so I used my finger to scoop the beans out of the can. People were horrified, and rightly so.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1118808973366474012005-06-15T04:12:00.000Z2005-06-15T04:16:13.380Z

It probably goes without saying that a lot of my thoughts begin with "If I were an evil dictator, why, I'd..."Here's one: "...why, I'd grab that goddamn hippie and tattoo 'Bongo solo punishable by death' on the inside of his eyelids. You know, just as a warning."

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1118450755617225892005-06-11T00:37:00.000Z2005-06-11T00:45:55.620Z

Sure, they have evacuation plans. They'll tell you which places are "safe" and which are not. But really, there's no "safe" place when it comes to a lahar.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1118385290742008232005-06-10T06:15:00.000Z2005-06-10T06:34:50.750Z

The wife and I watched a Discovery Channel production about Sky City last night. What is Sky City? What isn't Sky City!With a height of 1,000 meters and a total floor area of 800 hectares, SKY CITY 1000 is a superhigh-rise city comprising 14 concave dish-shaped, aerial bases called, "Space Plateaus" stacked one upon the other. Residences, offices, commercial facilities, schools, theaters and so

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1118248378893441472005-06-08T16:31:00.000Z2005-06-08T16:32:58.896Z

It's been a while since I've posted to this blog. Just checking in to make sure everybody's doing O.K.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1117819718409889352005-06-03T17:26:00.000Z2005-06-03T17:28:38.413Z

I can tell how odd something is to me by how long it takes for me to post about it. Take these two incidents, for example: About three weeks ago, I saw Robert Smith of the Cure driving a teal, late model sedan (no idea what the make or model was) About three days ago, I saw a blind man riding a bicycle. Dark glasses, white cane, bicycle.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1117739143211133572005-06-02T19:03:00.000Z2005-06-02T19:05:43.213Z

A fan has contributed a logo. Thanks fan! I made a slight modification, but I think I've stayed true to the spirit of the original. _ _ _ _ _| |__ __ _| |_| |_| | ___ ___ ___ | |__ _ __ __ _| '_ \ / _` | __| __| |/ _ \/ __/ _ \| '_ \| '__/ _` || |_) | (_| | |_| |_| | __/ (_| (_) | |_) | | | (_| ||_.__/ \__,_|\__|\__|_|\___|\___\___/|_.__/|_| \__,_|90000

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1117265190213927752005-05-28T07:25:00.000Z2005-05-28T07:26:30.216Z

Anyone who questions that an evil god presides over this universe need only see Celine Dion paying air guitar to quell his doubts.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1117064961794315922005-05-25T23:34:00.000Z2005-05-25T23:49:21.796Z

If you take common acronyms and replace a letter, you might end up with a hilarious new concoction.For example:JFC might stand for Jelly-Fried Chicken. Doesn't that sound awful! It does to me.That one was so funny to me I can't think up another. Oh well! BattleCobra90000 out!

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1116980344276091122005-05-25T00:15:00.000Z2005-05-25T00:19:04.280Z

I'm not sure if Barbara Walters ever asked somebody this, but I can imagine her doing so: if you were a car, what kind of car would you be?This is the question people ask themselves when they go shopping for cars. What kind of a car am I? I think, then, that I am a used car. At least that's the kind of self/car I can afford.But if we're talking about ideals, then I suppose I am some kind of

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1116903918146421712005-05-24T03:03:00.000Z2005-05-24T03:05:19.360Z

As science finds newer and better ways to capture the tacit knowledge accumulated by mankind, I hope they make a special place for this: beef and broccoli are delicious together.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1116553262369982372005-05-20T01:39:00.000Z2005-05-20T01:41:02.380Z

The weather's been pretty crazy around here lately. I've enjoyed it, though. I usually don't like extreme weather all that much, but you know what? I think our recent weather has been alright.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1116288234430980462005-05-17T00:00:00.000Z2005-05-17T00:03:54.453Z

They say that dog is man's best friend. (I think it's fair to assume they mean both men and women.) But they also say that diamonds are a girl's best friend.Results 1 - 10 of about 1,430,000 for "best friend" dog. (0.29 seconds)Results 1 - 10 of about 722,000 for "best friend" diamonds. (0.24 seconds) The dogs have it.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1116016892046095212005-05-13T20:40:00.000Z2005-05-13T20:41:32.050Z

Sometimes a compliment isn't a compliment.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1115929934610225112005-05-12T20:31:00.000Z2005-05-12T20:32:14.613Z

Rock, paper, scissors, Cadillac.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1115828538349805202005-05-11T16:07:00.000Z2005-05-11T20:49:41.350Z

Goal: Add a fourth item to rock, paper, scissors The item must fit between rock and paper, paper and scissors, or scissors and rock The item must affect only its nearest neighbors Methodology: Identify candidate objects Evaluate interactions between candidate object and rock, paper, and scissors Results: Five candidate objects were evaluated. They are: Blowtorch LP record

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1115656281577231592005-05-09T16:30:00.000Z2005-05-09T16:31:21.586Z

If you haven't already, consider developing a healthy fear of bears.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1115443129111182192005-05-07T05:18:00.000Z2005-05-07T05:18:49.116Z

They do make it easy, don't they?

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1115400144993516022005-05-06T17:20:00.000Z2005-05-07T05:18:15.483Z

Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print. Never use a long word where a short one will do. If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out. Never use the passive where you can use the active. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent. Break any of these

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1115312617443481762005-05-05T16:54:00.000Z2005-05-05T17:47:09.533Z

"Circumlocution is a large description either to sette forth a thyng more gorgeouslie, or else to hyde it."Thomas Wilson, The arte of rhetorique, 1553

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1115245563730655062005-05-04T22:24:00.000Z2005-05-04T22:26:03.736Z

Today I saw Elizabeth Taylor driving a teal Ford Taurus. She was making a left turn into The Keg.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1115171940996017722005-05-04T01:56:00.000Z2005-05-04T01:59:01.033Z

I was stuck in freeway traffic behind a car accident the other day. When I finally crept up to the scene, I saw an ice cream truck had T-boned a sedan. Further up, a truck was pulled over and had some damage to its hood. There wasn't any ice cream in the road--it all stayed inside the truck.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1115059091064348382005-05-02T18:29:00.000Z2005-05-02T18:38:11.066Z

Here are a few cities and their populations.Shanghai9,862,000Beijing7,607,000Chongqing6,609,000Tianjin5,325,000Wuhan4,411,000Harbin4,350,000Shengyang4,333,000Guangzhou4,361,000Chengdu3,459,000Nanjing3,095,000Changchun2,878,000Chicago2,869,000Xi’an2,858,000Dalian2,754,000

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1114802851750846892005-04-29T19:17:00.000Z2005-04-29T19:27:31.753Z

From http://www.naturevalley.com/Sponsors.htm: Nature Valley granola bars is the Official Natural Energy Bar of the PGA TOUR and Champions Tour. Nature Valley is proud to distribute granola bars to volunteers, players and spectators at many PGA TOUR and Champions Tour tournaments. From http://www.pgatour.com/info/partners#NatureValley:Nature Valley Granola Bars is the “Official Natural

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1114795463347516872005-04-29T17:24:00.000Z2005-04-29T17:30:30.133Z

I just learned two new words:Whitegoods are consumer durable goods such asdishwashers, refrigerators, and washing machines. Browngoods are consumer durable goods including TVs,radios, and other hi-fi equipment.I don't really have anything witty to add here, and I'm not sure that'ssuch a bad thing.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1114786510357888712005-04-29T14:51:00.000Z2005-04-29T19:28:20.820Z

I started my blog yesterday, and there are still no comments.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1114739604442593822005-04-29T01:50:00.000Z2005-04-29T01:53:24.443Z

First, make sure you're reading a newspaper. But then, after you've read that newspaper, you might want to read a second, different newspaper. That way, you get two sources.Just some advice.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12506705.post-1114708141467947652005-04-28T17:08:00.000Z2005-04-28T17:51:38.566Z

This is BattleCobra90000. Take that, world.

BattleCobra90000http://www.blogger.com/profile/00024820410454024973noreply@blogger.com0