This second to last point bears repeating

I am not an idiot, I am a battle cobra. It's who I am; it's what I do.

Lease breakers

I broke my lease yesterday by putting a hole in drywall that did not terminate in a stud.

I ask---is there no provision for those of us whose holes always originate with STUDS? Get it? Because I'm a stud? I thought so.

Oscar Night Weiner

My wife, our friend H, and I watched the Oscars last night. "The Oscars" is a registered trademark, but since this isn't commercial speech, I think I can get away without digging out the TM symbol.

After the Oscars, which were about 3.5 hours looooong, ABC presented this strange post-Oscars program featuring reporters trying to get (more on this in a second) interviews with celebrities as they were filing into the various post-Oscar parties. A couple of points:

• The post-Oscar show was almost as long as the actual Oscars
• The interviewers were not able to get interviews with anybody---that is, not with anybody who's anybody!
• This one guy in particular, I will call him Weiner Man, resorted to sticking his microphone into somebody else's interview. The former Q13 woman and her cohort interviewed actors from ABC television dramas and situation comedies. Did you know these people were invited to the parties, but not the main event? I didn't. You learn new things all the time if you just keep your eyes and mind open!

How hooked up is the movie industry? They put on a boring trade event where they don't serve meals. People get dressed up for it, and people who aren't even in the industry watch it on TV. They congratulate themselves for being so wonderful---this takes 3.5 hours, during which they give out fewer than 20 awards. They rudely cut off any award recipients after as little as 15 seconds for taking too long with their speeches. They host a post-boring-trade-show-TV-show so we can watch people leaving the event, and then idiots like me spend time the next day talking about it (although in all honesty, this is more about filling up my blog than having Oscar fever. And I'm not an idiot, I'm a battle cobra. It's what we do.)

Gone dry.

Yes, I've gone dry. Dry like bone. My posts-per-month rate has gone down. I have to confess: I forgot I had a blog.

So here's what I'll do: post more. This should not only increase the number of posts, but also increase the posts-per-month---immediately! This is the magic of statistics.